NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
And now, the weather.
No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
(Dead Poets Society, 1989)
Amazon is a global superstore, like Walmart. It’s also a hardware manufacturer, like Apple, and a utility, like Con Edison, and a video distributor, like Netflix, and a book publisher, like Random House, and a production studio, like Paramount, and a literary magazine, like The Paris Review, and a grocery deliverer, like FreshDirect, and someday it might be a package service, like U.P.S. Its founder and chief executive, Jeff Bezos, also owns a major newspaper, the Washington Post. All these streams and tributaries make Amazon something radically new in the history of American business. Sam Walton wanted merely to be the world’s biggest retailer. After Apple launched the iPod, Steve Jobs didn’t sign up pop stars for recording contracts. A.T. & T. doesn’t build transmission towers and rent them to smaller phone companies, the way Amazon Web Services provides server infrastructure for startups (not to mention the C.I.A.). Amazon’s identity and goals are never clear and always fluid, which makes the company destabilizing and intimidating.
Things all book lovers should know.
Trying to figure out the Amazon mess? Start here.
I don’t know about you guys but I am psyched to get an education, woo. This year is a hella important year for me because if I don’t finish this school year with five As then I am a dead man walking, you get me? So this started off as a collection to help me get those fabulous As but I thought, what the hell? I’ll share this perfection with everyone else because sharing is caring. Anyways, down to the nitty gritty
001. CALEDONIA’S DECLASSIFIED SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE
- advice for college
- how to survive in college
- how to survive freshmen year of high school
- college packing list
- alternative to buying expensive textbooks
- dorm room survival
- free online college courses
002. WRITE LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL
- the ultimate guide to writing
- how to write good
- how to write an essay
- how to write a good essay
- the five paragraph essay
- deadly sins checklist
- formatting your paper
- tips on getting started
- seven tips to become a better writer (stephen king)
- four ways to have confidence in your writing
- seven ways to speed up your writing
- five ways to add sparkle to your writing
- how to finish what you started: a five step plan for writers
- thirty-one ways to find inspiration for your writing
- tips for dealing with writer’s block
003. READING ISN’T ONLY FOR NERDS AND FANGIRLS
- how to take care of your books
- how to read shakespeare
- no fear shakespeare (i found this incredibly useful when studying macbeth!)
- one hundred most read books
- how to read difficult books
- how to read faster
- books made into movies
- books made into tv shows
- 350+ free ebooks
004. STUDY MOTHER FUCKER
- studying tips
- studying techniques
- how to pull an all-night and still have a successful exam result
- how to get motivated to study
- tips to help you concentrate
- time management tips
- chrome site blocker
005. LEARNING SHIT
- solve any maths equations: 1, 2.
- when your teacher says not to use wikipedia (an alternative)
- square root calculator, cube root calculator
- for when you can’t do your homework
- chemical equation balancer (what got me through chemistry last year)
- cliffnotes, sparknotes
- college courses
- how to: multiply big numbers
- crash courses (youtube)
- teaches you everything
006. PRESENTING YOUR BEAUTIFUL SCHOOL WORK AY
007. USEFUL WEBSITES BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS A WONDERFUL PLACE /SOMETIMES/
- TED (basically gods gift)
- challenge your brain
- feed the hungry and up your vocabulary game
- free online textbooks
- final grade calculator
- a whole page dedicated to studying and organising
008. MUSIC TO CALM DOWN UR SCHOOL DAY BLUES YO
- a really chill playist
- coffee shop blues
- coffee shop sounds
- calm nature sounds
- concentration/focus playlist
- relaxation is key
- four hours of classical music
- playlists to listen to: xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx.
009. ALL THIS STUDYING??? YOU NEED A BREAK, MY FRIEND.
- watch a cute ass dog lick your screen
- one hundred thousand stars
- movies masterpost
- foreign movies
- gay movies
- lesbian movies you should definitely watch
- broadway musicals
- LGBT+ books
- download free books
- read any book
- the best masterpost ever if you’re bored
010. TIPS FOR SCHOOL N STUFF BCUS I WANTED TEN BITS
- try your best. not everyone can get all As, and getting all As does not make you better than everyone else. just do the best you can and be the best person you can be.
- don’t sleep in class! i know it seems so so tempting but slept my way through geography last year and i got a C in my exam instead of the expected A so…
- Don’t tick off your teacher, follow the rules to an extent, get to class on time, respect your classmates and teachers. you know, just be a decent person.
- be positive!!! and not just for the first week or so, keep the positivity going throughout the whole school year. if you don’t believe in yourself then why should anyone else?
- "you can do it, wildcat, i believe in u" — something troy bolton said one time probably definitely
sure! under the cut because this is going to be long. also keep in mind that there are tons of blogs with a lot more followers than me who probably have a better idea of how to gain than i do. also check this out